A brief pause, digesting all of this. Louis watches Daniel's face, and thinks about the ways they touch each other now. Tentative expressions of comfort, of intimacy, things that feel right in the moment but that they don't speak about after.
"Are you happy?"
A heavy word. Can Daniel be happy as a vampire?
Louis wants him to be. Wishes he could be. He'd wanted to ask and for Daniel to say yes.
That isn't how it happened. And now they are mostly apart and Louis has to be envious of Lestat and Daniel by turns, wishing to join them, knowing all the reasons why he shouldn't. Why it is better to be alone, doing what sometimes feels like healing and growing and sometimes feels nearer to destruction. Regardless, Louis knows all the reasons he should be doing that on his own. All the reasons he shouldn't take two weeks of Daniel's time even, why it's selfish and why he hasn't stopped himself.
no subject
"Are you happy?"
A heavy word. Can Daniel be happy as a vampire?
Louis wants him to be. Wishes he could be. He'd wanted to ask and for Daniel to say yes.
That isn't how it happened. And now they are mostly apart and Louis has to be envious of Lestat and Daniel by turns, wishing to join them, knowing all the reasons why he shouldn't. Why it is better to be alone, doing what sometimes feels like healing and growing and sometimes feels nearer to destruction. Regardless, Louis knows all the reasons he should be doing that on his own. All the reasons he shouldn't take two weeks of Daniel's time even, why it's selfish and why he hasn't stopped himself.