Some minor objection. Daniel did vanish, for some months. Louis had reached out and reached out and reached out into nothingness and Daniel had not reached back.
He could argue the point. He doesn't.
"I don't wanna go such a long time without speaking to you again."
Trying to say a thing without saying it. Gripping Daniel's hand. Wanting to ask him to stay. To let Louis help, in whatever way would suite Daniel best.
Daniel didn't vanish, he was ignoring Louis. Huge difference. Let's not get lost in the weeds, here. Perhaps an unkind thing, but a necessary thing, and a boundary thing. A thing that Daniel is being pretty gracious about Louis crossing, but honestly, he's missed him. It makes his heart ache to leave, but the feeling doesn't drown out the need to assert independence.
Vampire loneliness, horrendous crimes over coupling, eternal lives ruined, children executed. He doesn't want any part of a coven, he doesn't want a companion, he doesn't want an almost-companion. Maybe in time, he'll figure out how to regulate how he feels about it. But he's not going to figure anything out while someone's watching.
What's he going to do, take care of Louis? No. Daniel is a bad partner and a bad parent. The idea of being responsible for someone else makes him want to find the nearest escape hatch. Always has. Being ransomed also has little effect on him— he knows he's not actually vanishing, knows he's not a suicide risk, and so, Louis has nothing to worry about.
"Don't change your number, then." Assuring. Look. They'll figure it out. "And think about the book, huh? You wanted to change the world. We're gonna."
A sentiment so entirely divorced from these past months of silence.
He had missed Daniel. He had been missing Daniel, years of missing him, without even fully understanding or recognizing the feeling. The way Daniel says this thing, it reminds Louis of the night they met. It reminds him of the way Daniel talked about his interviews, fussing with the strap of the bag holding his tape recorder.
World-changing. Daniel has done his fair share already.
Daniel could open the door and step out of a moving car if he wanted, but Louis doesn't make him. He pulls to the curb, as directed. Daniel is going to leave. Louis is going to let him. Daniel will publish the book. Louis is going to let him. Inevitable, all of it.
Louis wants it to be inevitable too, that they come back to each other. But he doesn't know how to draw that out of Daniel, so bites back the urge to appeal more strongly to him.
"Call me," he says instead. "I want you to call me, anytime you like. Or need."
Hands detangled (he feels cold), bag re-shouldered. Still fiddling with the straps, though there's a laptop inside of it, now.
Louis' eyes are so green. He's so beautiful, even looking unhappy with him, in the dim light of the car, with the highlights from outside. Flashing neon colors from the traffic signals, and the false warmth of yellow street lamps.
Daniel reaches over to touch his shoulder. Leans in, presses a kiss to his cheekbone. It feels friendly and chase, it feels too intimate, it's half electric and half gutting. He loves him. He wants to stay. But all of that puts fight or flight into him like a cornered animal.
Not ready. Might not ever be.
"You're gonna get so annoyed when I figure out how to really call you."
A grin, and wink, and he hops out of the car. Into the night.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Some minor objection. Daniel did vanish, for some months. Louis had reached out and reached out and reached out into nothingness and Daniel had not reached back.
He could argue the point. He doesn't.
"I don't wanna go such a long time without speaking to you again."
Trying to say a thing without saying it. Gripping Daniel's hand. Wanting to ask him to stay. To let Louis help, in whatever way would suite Daniel best.
no subject
Vampire loneliness, horrendous crimes over coupling, eternal lives ruined, children executed. He doesn't want any part of a coven, he doesn't want a companion, he doesn't want an almost-companion. Maybe in time, he'll figure out how to regulate how he feels about it. But he's not going to figure anything out while someone's watching.
What's he going to do, take care of Louis? No. Daniel is a bad partner and a bad parent. The idea of being responsible for someone else makes him want to find the nearest escape hatch. Always has. Being ransomed also has little effect on him— he knows he's not actually vanishing, knows he's not a suicide risk, and so, Louis has nothing to worry about.
"Don't change your number, then." Assuring. Look. They'll figure it out. "And think about the book, huh? You wanted to change the world. We're gonna."
no subject
A sentiment so entirely divorced from these past months of silence.
He had missed Daniel. He had been missing Daniel, years of missing him, without even fully understanding or recognizing the feeling. The way Daniel says this thing, it reminds Louis of the night they met. It reminds him of the way Daniel talked about his interviews, fussing with the strap of the bag holding his tape recorder.
World-changing. Daniel has done his fair share already.
Daniel could open the door and step out of a moving car if he wanted, but Louis doesn't make him. He pulls to the curb, as directed. Daniel is going to leave. Louis is going to let him. Daniel will publish the book. Louis is going to let him. Inevitable, all of it.
Louis wants it to be inevitable too, that they come back to each other. But he doesn't know how to draw that out of Daniel, so bites back the urge to appeal more strongly to him.
"Call me," he says instead. "I want you to call me, anytime you like. Or need."
no subject
Louis' eyes are so green. He's so beautiful, even looking unhappy with him, in the dim light of the car, with the highlights from outside. Flashing neon colors from the traffic signals, and the false warmth of yellow street lamps.
Daniel reaches over to touch his shoulder. Leans in, presses a kiss to his cheekbone. It feels friendly and chase, it feels too intimate, it's half electric and half gutting. He loves him. He wants to stay. But all of that puts fight or flight into him like a cornered animal.
Not ready. Might not ever be.
"You're gonna get so annoyed when I figure out how to really call you."
A grin, and wink, and he hops out of the car. Into the night.